How To French Kiss
Expert Advice For Men
By Genie Joseph, PhD

Most women love men who are great kissers, and with a little practice you can become one of the great kissers of all time. If you’ve ever wondered if you could become a better kisser, or how to French Kiss in a way that drives your partner mad with desire – you’ve come to the right place. So many women in couples counseling have privately admitted they wished their boyfriends and husbands were better kissers.  

French kissing takes a basic lip-to-lip kiss to the next level by adding tongue-to-tongue caresses. French kisses are a higher level of intimacy since they involve penetration deeper into the mouth. French Kissing should not be your first move in a lovemaking session. Rather it is a level of connection and stimulation that you reach after you have spent some time connecting with your lips – and hopefully your partner initiates a desire for deeper contact by opening her mouth more, inviting you inside.

How To French Kiss

French Kissing, generally, should not be an aggressive move on the part of the male (unless your woman has made it very clear she likes this kind of treatment!) French Kissing should begin as an exploratory journey with the intention to wake up more senses. It is about increasing intensity, but needs to be in response to her desire levels rising.

If you move in too quickly or deeply, the woman may react defensively, and subconsciously her arousal process may even reverse! So don’t rush!  If you move in too fast and too hard – before her responses have indicated that she is ready – she may become turned off by your intensity. She may feel that you are not really connecting with her – but instead are being too aggressive.

The art of great French Kissing is when both partners are really paying attention. You need to attend to each other’s response to each probing and caressing motion. To use the metaphor of a ping-pong game we are looking for this “send-receive-return” cycle between both partners. You make a move towards more tongue contact and motion for example, and he returns with a similar or responsive motion. When two people are in sync, this is what begins to happen, and it is this “in-sync” quality that causes a woman’s desire to rise. 

Skip this cycle, and you may find yourself striking out!

If your partner is responding to tongue contact, you can increase speed, motion, duration and intensity of pressure. Do not bite unless you are very sure your partner enjoys this. If this is a new partner especially make sure you are receiving her “Yes, please continue” signals through her responses of arousal, or through her matching your actions.

Pay attention to your own sensations. What feels good to you when you are kissing? Does going slower feel even better? It might to her. Does going softer with your tongue add to the sensations? Often men think they need to produce a big effect – by doing something bigger, harder, faster.

Be Gentle, Don't Rush

But the truth is most women, especially as they are going through the stages of arousal, prefer softer, gentler stimulation. Less movement, less speed, less pressure may even feel better to her. “Less is more” can apply here, so don’t be afraid to do less – and allow her to feel more. You can use subtler sensations as a tease, then you can build to more intensity as she heats up!

If you really want to know how to be the best French Kisser your lover ever experienced, follow her lead. Her body and her sounds are giving you to clues to what she likes. If you are paying attention, you will begin to sense what she wants, and when she is ready for more intensity and pressure.

Remember there are no absolute rules for how to French Kiss. There are as many styles of kissing as there are lips on the planet! The trick is to become the best kisser – for your lover! And that means paying close attention to what she wants, how she wants it and when she wants more.

Tongues have so many nerves and the sensations of a great French Kiss can drive your woman wild. I’m sure I don’t have to remind you to make sure you smell great before you dive in. Good luck and happy French Kissing! The world is a better place when more people learn how to French Kiss and take the time to really kiss each other!

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