If you have been through a rough relationship break-up, or are going
through the process now, chances are you are in need of some EMOTIONAL
Heartache, or heart break are not just poetic metaphors. When you are in emotional pain, it can feel like your heart is tearing apart or breaking. Studies show that emotional pain can affect the body in significant ways, so that is just one more reason to take this process very seriously.
If this is the first time you have felt this intensity of pain, disappointment, betrayal or resentment, it may feel like you are in uncharted waters. You wish there was a simple map that said “You are here. Take this path, turn right, do this and that, and you will arrive.” There is no such map as everyone’s healing path is unique.
Emotional Healing: Step One - The Healing Journey
The first step is to realize that this is a journey. It is not that you can just jump at the first apparent solution, (such as diving into a new relationship before you have healed) or make another sudden change and expect that this will take away the pain. There is only one way to get over the pain and that is to heal it.
Emotional Healing: Step Two - Break the Cycle of Obsession
The next thing to notice is that the pain you are feeling in the moment may be chained to other events in your past, or childhood, that make this current pain all the more intense. Sometimes seeing that connection can help you un-obsess about the present partner.
Emotional Healing: Step Three - Suffering is enough Punishment
The third thing to realize is that this is not the time to judge or criticize yourself. Suffering is punishment enough, without adding a daily dose of self criticism. You are on a healing journey which takes time. If you are in paralyzing pain, it is because that emotional part of yourself is overwhelmed, like a cup that is too full. If you try to add even just a teaspoonful, it spills over. It doesn’t mean you are bad or weak for experiencing sometimes paralyzing pain. What you are experiencing right now, emotionally, is the result of events that have triggered these emotions.
Emotional Healing: Step Four - The Only Way Out is Forward
If you numb yourself, self-medicate, abuse drugs or alcohol, or deny that you are having the heart-breaking emotions, they will just take longer to heal. The fastest way to move forward is to commit to being on a HEALING JOURNEY. Your situation is unique, and this journey will be somewhat different for everyone. We will suggest several methods designed to promote faster healing, and some methods we suggest may work better for you than others. Read the articles in this section, and others in Healthy-Relationship-Advice.com, to get insight, and take action, actually put these methods into practice. If you have your own ways to heal that work, keep using them. The ones we offer here are chosen because they have worked for thousands of others.
Emotional Healing: Step Five - Nurture Yourself – A combination of Discipline and Kindness
Self-care is very important right now. If you are going to let go of the hope that your partner can save you from feeling this pain, you have to be very diligent about doing your own healing. This means eating well, exercising or staying physically active, sleeping the normal amount, (or a little more), staying connected with good, supportive people, maintaining a spiritual practice (this could even be connecting with nature). You may not be up to doing everything you are used to doing when you are not under this stress load, and you have to be gentle with yourself – but – not indulge the pain too much or for too long. You need to find the balance of discipline with kindness to yourself.
Emotional Healing: Step Six - Find Your Faith
If you have a spiritual practice, you are lucky! If not, this is a good time to find one, or reconnect with one. This is a time you need extra help. You need supportive friends and family, the help of counselors, or emotional healing retreats. Most of all, you can really benefit from connecting with your spiritual self and your connection to your faith. Faith is what can help you manage the unmanageable. You need faith in something – it can be God, it can be dogs! Anything that makes you feel that life is good and worth living. As difficult as this time is, it is a doorway to potential of growth that you wouldn’t have otherwise walked through. This is one way you become a richer, fuller, more empathic person. Remember, as bad as it feels right now, history shows with millions of heart-broken lovers who go on to heal that “This too shall pass.”
Emotional Healing: Step Seven - Reach Out for Help from Someone Who Can Help!
Don’t just whine and complain! Talk to someone who has the wisdom to guide you on your next step of the healing journey. This can be someone who is wiser, older, or a professional.
We invite you to have a half-hour consultation by phone to work on a personal healing journey plan, so reach out to us. We wish you all the very best on your healing journey, and believe that you will emerge stronger and ready for real and honest love!
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