Janice is single and says she is looking for a husband. Yet when we look at the “Feng Shui" (the study of the flow of energy) of her life and personal environment, there is really not a spare inch to add anything or anyone. Her life is heavily scheduled, her closets are overflowing, she has books piled on both sides of her bed. She sleeps with both the cat and the dog, and there isn’t even room to add a visitor’s toothbrush.
In spite of her verbal protests to the contrary, the actions and personal space in her life, in a word, the Feng Shui of her life, says: “Thanks, but my life is filled right now." She has no space for love to enter.
When we took a look at how filled her life was on every level, space, time, energy, Janice had quite a revelation. She frankly doesn’t have the space for love.
We gave her some homework to just take one small area, a surface, a drawer, or a shelf in a closet and clear it out while holding in mind the affirmation: “I have space for love." This was just one gesture that she made, as a form of “living prayer" that said to the universe: “I want to have love in my life, and I am willing to let go of some old junk to make a space for love."
It felt good. Although she wasn’t ready to do her whole house, each weekend she committed to spending just one hour in the service of making space and using this feng shui to attract love. It was her “walking the talk" message to the universe that she really was ready to have some new and positive things come into her life.
We asked her to take baby steps so it wouldn’t feel overwhelming and so that she could experience multiple moments of success. She cleared off one shelf in her bathroom cabinet. Then she rearranged one corner by her desk. Four weeks into this project, and we’re talking about four hours of her life, the phone rang.
Tom, her boyfriend from college, whom she hadn’t spoken to in over twelve years, was coming to town for a job interview, and wondered if he could stay at her house for three days.
It is not time to print the wedding invitations, but suffice it to say things are going really well. She is now really motivated. Last I heard she was cleaning out the whole garage, a task she couldn’t even stand to think about without breaking into hives, much less actually take on. She was really beginning to understand that love needs energy and space to allow her to become an attractor of the love she wants in her life.
Physical space is very significant when it comes to “making room" for new energy in your life. Creating space can open new possibilities for love, for creativity, for abundance, for fertility, for energy. This is a basic principle of the feng shui of love.
It is not always a question of clutter. I know one bachelor who was so neat, no one felt they could drop a crumb in his house. A woman he really liked broke up with him. One reason she gave was that she felt that she could never live up to his impeccable standards. “I feel like there is no room for a real woman here," she said.
Time is another area where we sometimes need to create openings. If you have no time, you are not emotionally available. Has “life’s minutiae," all the details of daily living, left you with no “open space?"
Is your life so structured that there isn’t time for someone to ruin your perfect schedule? This happens even to couples that have been together for years. Lives become so busy that partners never have any romantic time together. Even if you are already in a relationship, make sure you leave some open time together, or plan some time just for each other.
Make being emotionally available a priority and your relationship will blossom. Without making this space, it will just get filled with the clutter of activity and pushes and pulls. When you were first in love, you carved out time to be together, and you still need to do that as you move deeper into the relationship.
Remember when you were dating, when just hanging out together felt so good? If you haven’t done that in awhile, set aside some time without specific plans. Create some time just to see what happens, to see what you feel like doing in that moment. Yes, you can plan to be spontaneous! Creating emotional space and leaving time open allows both partners to discover what it is they would really like to do. Nothing like a little planned spontaneity to recharge the love battery.
Take a look at your life. Have you created the space for love, to bring in what you want more of in your life? Using these principles of emotional feng shui can create the space to attract love and anything else you want more of in your life. If your teacup is too full, you can’t taste anything new and delicious. On the other hand, if you empty out some old routines, or even mental clutter, you can make space for love. It sounds magical, but it works.