If you want to romance your husband or long term partner, you need to send him clear signals he will understand. You can’t always be subtle, like wearing cologne or a new nightie and expect him to read your mind. Men do better with unambiguous clear signals and signs of flirting, like a green light for “Go.”
In the “old days,” men made the first move. But if we had to rely on that we’d all be sitting in rocking chairs -- alone. Sometimes men are just too shy to make the first move. Or they don’t have a clue that you would like them to approach. Fortunately times have changed. Everybody agrees that it's okay for both men and women to send the green light that let’s them know you want to play! The secret to romance your husband is to send him signals and signs of flirting that he can actually understand!
Perhaps you would rather he seduce you. You can sit around, waiting for him to act like a character in a romance novel, or you can get the game going yourself! Why shouldn’t a woman start a seduction, after all, she has probably read about it or imagined it a thousand times – she is the one best prepared for the job! The most basic thing you need to know about how to romance your husband is – don’t wait for him to start! You can get the fun going! You can find your inner-flirt and get his attention!
The truth is many husbands, especially if they’ve been turned down before, won't dare make the first move unless they get some kind of "green light" signal from their woman. It might be the way she looks at him, maintaining eye-contact just a couple of seconds longer. It might be a warm inviting smile. It might just be she recognizes and acknowledges him for the potential pleasurer that he is.
If you want to romance your husband, you need to give him a "green light" either verbally or visually. Then he makes the "first" move. Or is it the second? (And who's keeping score, anyway.) The point is that it is the woman who is the one who sends out the call -- and the man responds. That is the premise and name of an exciting book called Women Call -- Men Respond by Maureen McDonough and James Rutherford.
So -- There you are at the dinner table. You both exchange furtive glances but neither one knows how to make the first move. While you're wondering: "Should I or shouldn't I?" The moment is too ambiguous, and pretty soon his mind wanders to something else and he asks if you want any more dessert. The moment is gone. We've all had a situation like that, but it doesn’t have to be that way.
The moral of the story is – women, it's your move! You may need to make the first, overt, no questions asked – bold first move!While some men like to be the one to make the first move, many men love it when a woman knows what she wants and lets him know you are interested in making love in no uncertain terms. Unless you know that your husband does not like you being direct and suggestive, I suggest you "lead him on." Here’s how: Give him an undeniable invitation – then let him feel like he made the first move.
Send him a smile and eye contact that lasts more than two seconds. Try this while grocery shopping together on the way home. In a crowded situation, you may have to do this more than once. Give him a little suggestive smile, or briefly touch some place you know he likes. Not so bold as to startle or embarrass him, -- unless you know he likes it – avoid going for the private parts – just a subtle nice touch, with but just the hint of fun.
Some men like women to be aggressive and take the lead, but most would prefer to be given a clear signal that a woman is interested. Then they'll want to "make the first move" -- of course, we women know that it's really "the second move"! The first move was the sweet smile, the tantalizing tilt of the head, the extended warm eye contact that told him (subconsciously or otherwise) that you would respond favorably to his attentions. This is the art of seduction and how you can romance your husband.
So, let's say you get past the "lingering look stage." He approaches and asks you directly what’s on your mind or what you want. Don’t answer vaguely! Tell him in words he likes to hear, exactly what you have in mind!
And don't forget the encouraging sweet smile. Volunteer something of yourself or your own feelings of desire. You can then ask open-ended questions that draw him out and get him talking, like “Do you like what you see?" or “Want to play with me?” Make it easy on him. Especially if he is nervous or unsure for any reason.
When you are being seductive, be yourself. Don't try to be incredibly brilliant, hysterically funny, wildly energetic, or explosively sexy. To romance your husband don't "try" anything you are not going to enjoy doing. If you are "acting like some other person," and he responds, you'll never know if he likes "the real you." Ask sexy questions and be interested in his answers, but don't make him feel like he's in the Spanish Inquisition. Laugh at his jokes if you genuinely think they're funny. Compliment him and give him approval, for his big strong arms if he has them, but don't give him false flattery. In other words, keep it real enough for both of you to feel “normal” and not flustered.
If you want to romance your husband, let him know in very clear ways you enjoy his attention. Men need these signals to keep going. You may think that your smile or your time is all you need to communicate your interest, but he may need to know with visual (eye contact, smiles), auditory (words, compliments), and other clues, like body language (how close you stand, a soft touch etc.)
Good luck! Go for it. "Nothing ventured, nothing gained," is true in love as well as every area of life. Better to take an opportunity to romance your husband and re-ignite the passion than wonder if you should have. Remember, your husband might really appreciate it if you jump-start your love life.
"I love you!"
Those are the three words we most want to hear.
Yet for some people saying those words is daunting. They'd rather skip barefoot through a hornet's nest. The good news is saying "I love you!" is a learnable skill.
Our FREE e-book is a love story in four acts that shows how two shy people found creative ways to express their most tender feelings for each other.
You can borrow these words or use them to inspire you to create your own linguistic art of romance.
Go ahead, be brave. Let Cupid speak in your life.
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