You’ve heard the expression honesty is the best policy.
What's most important in this saying is being honest with yourself first. Do your expectations and understandings of what this relationship is match the ideas in your partner’s mind? It is very dangerous to think that you are in a serious, committed relationship with someone who has a different idea of what you are doing together.
So the first step to making sure you are on the same page is to discuss your mutual expectations or understandings as to “what are we doing here?”
This may sound daunting, and isn’t something you can do if you are just in the first month or two of communicating, because your other partner may not know yet. So, duh! Don’t try this in your first few encounters!
But as soon as you realize that you are putting your emotions on the line, you want to make sure your partner is more or less at the same level of interest and intention. Make sure you are not inventing a relationship that is deeper than the one that is actually happening. As risky as this communication sounds, it is essential for both parties to have generally the same desires and assumptions if you plan on surviving a long distance relationship.
Surviving a Long Distance Relationship means that it needs to be as healthy as possible in order to last. Even at a distance, it still needs to function on more than one level in order to be stable. Because you don’t have the advantage of physical touch, sight and sound, you have to get good at engaging and maintaining a strong and vibrant sense of connection.
This means developing the Three F’s: Friendship, Flirting, Fascination
Surviving a long distance relationship need the friendship component has to be working strongly. Friendship means that the relationship is fun, supportive and that there is a comfortable connection. There is a sense of trust that you can be yourself and not be judged. Nothing undermines friendship more than missing any of these elements. We like friends who accept us for who we are – and we don’t feel like we need to have any pretense.
Flirting means that we are fanning the fires of desire – later in this article we’ll talk more about how to flirt online most effectively! These are really important tactics for surviving a long distance relationship.
Fascination means that there is strong interest in each other’s lives. We don’t take each other for granted, we are curious about the details of our worlds. Ask questions about what is going on in your partner’s life and remember to check back in with them about something, “So how did the meeting go?” these are really important elements to sewing the sense of connection.
This is essential to help build your relationship even if it doesn’t have the benefit of immediate contact through the support of sight, touch, sound and smell – you are going to have to work a little harder to flirt with your long distance relationship partner.
You are going to learn how to seduce your partner at a distance!
If this is a new relationship, remember that seduction happens in stages. Don’t rush faster than your partner is ready to go. The fun is in the steps of flirting, going a little further each time. If you are always trying to hit home runs, that is not seduction, that is more like conquering.
Going slow allows the romance to build. This is really important to women who want to feel like they are being romanced. The secret is to keep flirting alive by making small but consistent teases that give just a little bit more each time.
Learning how to flirt online means going step by step and not trying to race to the finish line. This is essential to surviving a long distance relationship.
If you are flirting with a man online, most men want you to paint pictures with your words. They like to have a visual fix which is why you often hear the words “What are you wearing?”
Men like to hear you describe something you are DOING, so he can make a picture in his mind. Many women, on the other hand, want to be seduced with words and descriptions of sensations. T
hink about using all your senses, including visual, sound and touch in your descriptions. Here is an example of one simple action, opening a robe, each done with a different emphasis on one of the senses:
Visual Sensation: "I open my black lace robe, exposing one tight hard nipple, for just a moment. Then I take your hand, showing you the way…”
Sound Sensation: "Slowly I let my stain robe slip to the floor, “I am yours, take me – I whisper.”
Touch Sensation: “Your hands pull at the sash -- my robe slips away, and with it my inhibitions. Your soft touch on my bare flesh – a fire is igniting inside me…”
Practice these different styles and see which one gets you more excited and which one works best for your partner. Once you discover this, it is like having the combination to their emotional/erotic safe. They will open for you every time.
This is what will make your relationship survive, thrive, and sizzle. Flirting online can become so much more fun than you ever imagined.
Remembering these tips when you are flirting online will go along way to keeping your connection exciting. Surviving a long distance relationship is possible, but takes extra efforts at maintaining the connection.
Using these tips will keep it exciting and stable! It will keep you both real and imaginative. Strengthen all levels, friendship and fantasy. That is our best advice to help you survive a long distance relationship.
"I love you!"
Those are the three words we most want to hear.
Yet for some people saying those words is daunting. They'd rather skip barefoot through a hornet's nest. The good news is saying "I love you!" is a learnable skill.
Our FREE e-book is a love story in four acts that shows how two shy people found creative ways to express their most tender feelings for each other.
You can borrow these words or use them to inspire you to create your own linguistic art of romance.
Go ahead, be brave. Let Cupid speak in your life.
To get a copy, go to the page bottom and tell us your name and email.