Long Distance Relationship Tips
Love Strategies For Dealing With Distance
Long Distance Relationships are challenging, but are a reality in this
modern world. Many people, such as military personnel, are dealing with
long and extended separations.
here are several tips you can learn that will make this process of
maintaining a connection even over great distances a smoother and safer
The first long distance relationship tip is to understand your own personal “love strategy"
This means you should ask what is the secret combination that
opens your heart? The way to determine this is to ask yourself: “How
do I know that I am loved?" Do you need to hear the words “I love you?"
Do you need to see the person in order to see their eyes? Do you need
their touch? Of course we all want all these indicators! But the
point to understand is which one can you not live without?
These are all examples of “sensory input preferences." They
explain your love strategy. Bottom line: The more your partner meets
your love strategy, the happier you will be, and the more loved you will
Long Distance Relationship Tips for Visual Lovers
For example, for people with a predominately visual love
strategy, in order to really feel loved need to see evidence. They do
best when there is a lot of visual contact (so if you are in a long
distance relationship with a visual person keep those phone pictures
coming! or use Skype!) They need gifts or physical evidence. They
don’t necessarily have to be expensive, they could be as small as a
shell you find on the beach, but present this gift in a wrapped box with
a bow! Visual people love any gifts, and like to go to new places,
see new things, and they love having a lot of new visual stimulation.
Long Distance Relationship Tips for Auditory Lovers
Auditory lovers need to hear the words “I love you" or other
forms of verbal expression. They love terms of endearment that are
personal to them. The tone of voice is very important to them, so they
need to hear your voice (no, sending a text message doesn’t do it!).
They know the moment they hear your voice how you are feeling, or how
healthy the connection between you is. They love cards and letters, and
e-mails and text messages, but they also need to hear your voice as
often as possible. Hearing your sweet words is the best way to make
them feel loved.
Long Distance Relationship Tips for Kinesthetic High-Touch Lovers
If you are in a long distance relationship with a kinesthetic or
high touch person, they are going to have the biggest challenge
“feeling" your love at a distance. These people would do well if they
had something with your scent on it. When you talk to them, use lots of
touchy-feely words to describe their touch, or the sensation of
touching them. Paint pictures with your words that use a lot of body
sensation or body descriptions. Talk about your desire for physical
connection and contact.
Long Distance Relationship Tip: Understand Your Partner’s Love Strategy
Although we all like to have all forms of connection and contact,
we may have some that are like magic, in that they quickly open your
heart like a combination safe! Your partner may have a different
strategy for feeling truly loved and connected than you do.
For example, if you are predominately auditory, and you keep
sending your partner text messages, and they are highly visual, they may
not feel completely connected to you just because they have read a
short message, even a sweet one.
So you want to understand both your own, so you get your needs
met, and those of your partner, so you can maintain the strongest sense
of connection while you are apart, as well as when you are together.
Long Distance Relationship Tip: Talk to Your Partner about Their Love Strategy – and Yours
Most couples are unaware of each other’s “secret combination."
This is one of the reasons people end up feeling misunderstood or not
fully connected, even though they love each other. It can make a huge
difference some of the time to understand, and then switch your
communication style to at least include their primary method.
The more you do this, the more they feel loved and cherished. We
have seen many relationships turn around simply by people applying
these long distance relationship tips.
When you understand both your own and your partner’s love
strategies, and apply this knowledge, you will go a long way to
strengthening your relationship both when you are together, and when you
have to deal with the times apart. You can make it work!
For more information on dealing with spouses returning from
the military, and dealing with the stress of multiple deployments,
please visit another of our sites
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