Long Distance Relationships are challenging, but are a reality in this modern world. Many people, such as military personnel, are dealing with long and extended separations.
here are several tips you can learn that will make this process of maintaining a connection even over great distances a smoother and safer journey.
The first long distance relationship tip is to understand your own personal “love strategy”
This means you should ask what is the secret combination that opens your heart? The way to determine this is to ask yourself: “How do I know that I am loved?” Do you need to hear the words “I love you?” Do you need to see the person in order to see their eyes? Do you need their touch? Of course we all want all these indicators! But the point to understand is which one can you not live without?
These are all examples of “sensory input preferences.” They explain your love strategy. Bottom line: The more your partner meets your love strategy, the happier you will be, and the more loved you will feel.
Long Distance Relationship Tips for Visual Lovers
For example, for people with a predominately visual love strategy, in order to really feel loved need to see evidence. They do best when there is a lot of visual contact (so if you are in a long distance relationship with a visual person keep those phone pictures coming! or use Skype!) They need gifts or physical evidence. They don’t necessarily have to be expensive, they could be as small as a shell you find on the beach, but present this gift in a wrapped box with a bow! Visual people love any gifts, and like to go to new places, see new things, and they love having a lot of new visual stimulation.
Long Distance Relationship Tips for Auditory Lovers
Auditory lovers need to hear the words “I love you” or other forms of verbal expression. They love terms of endearment that are personal to them. The tone of voice is very important to them, so they need to hear your voice (no, sending a text message doesn’t do it!). They know the moment they hear your voice how you are feeling, or how healthy the connection between you is. They love cards and letters, and e-mails and text messages, but they also need to hear your voice as often as possible. Hearing your sweet words is the best way to make them feel loved.
Long Distance Relationship Tips for Kinesthetic High-Touch Lovers
If you are in a long distance relationship with a kinesthetic or high touch person, they are going to have the biggest challenge “feeling” your love at a distance. These people would do well if they had something with your scent on it. When you talk to them, use lots of touchy-feely words to describe their touch, or the sensation of touching them. Paint pictures with your words that use a lot of body sensation or body descriptions. Talk about your desire for physical connection and contact.
Long Distance Relationship Tip: Understand Your Partner’s Love Strategy
Although we all like to have all forms of connection and contact, we may have some that are like magic, in that they quickly open your heart like a combination safe! Your partner may have a different strategy for feeling truly loved and connected than you do.
For example, if you are predominately auditory, and you keep sending your partner text messages, and they are highly visual, they may not feel completely connected to you just because they have read a short message, even a sweet one.
So you want to understand both your own, so you get your needs met, and those of your partner, so you can maintain the strongest sense of connection while you are apart, as well as when you are together.
Long Distance Relationship Tip: Talk to Your Partner about Their Love Strategy – and Yours
Most couples are unaware of each other’s “secret combination.” This is one of the reasons people end up feeling misunderstood or not fully connected, even though they love each other. It can make a huge difference some of the time to understand, and then switch your communication style to at least include their primary method.
The more you do this, the more they feel loved and cherished. We have seen many relationships turn around simply by people applying these long distance relationship tips.
When you understand both your own and your partner’s love strategies, and apply this knowledge, you will go a long way to strengthening your relationship both when you are together, and when you have to deal with the times apart. You can make it work!
For more information on dealing with spouses returning from
the military, and dealing with the stress of multiple deployments,
please visit another of our sites
"I love you!"
Those are the three words we most want to hear.
Yet for some people saying those words is daunting. They'd rather skip barefoot through a hornet's nest. The good news is saying "I love you!" is a learnable skill.
Our FREE e-book is a love story in four acts that shows how two shy people found creative ways to express their most tender feelings for each other.
You can borrow these words or use them to inspire you to create your own linguistic art of romance.
Go ahead, be brave. Let Cupid speak in your life.
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