Ending A Relationship
The Seven Sights To Know

Ending A Relationship Sign #1

There is Abuse of Any Kind. If there is any kind of abuse, physical, mental, verbal, emotional or spiritual, this relationship is in the unhealthy zone. You need to talk to someone you trust, or a trained professional, and get help to understand how you can get out of this relationship. No one deserves to be mistreated or abused. It undermines your love and your sense of self and keeps you trapped in a hostile environment.

Ending A Relationship Sign #2

The Friendship has died. If you no longer feel like your mate is your best friend, or even a good friend, this is a sign that the relationship has veered into negative territory. If you avoid spending free time together, or dread spending time together, this is a sign that the relationship is off course. In healthy relationships people enjoy and seek each other’s company.

Ending A Relationship Sign #3

There isn’t Mutual Respect and Trust. If over time your partner behaves in a way that you can no longer respect, such as addictive or compulsive behaviors, or doesn’t do what they say they are going to do – such as planning for over a year to go back to school, and never even applying, or talking about looking for a new job but never trying, or saying they will get healthy and not making any changes – these are just some examples of behaviors that cause you to lose respect, because you don’t see your partner making any efforts to follow through. We all procrastinate and delay making positive changes, but if this turns into long-term avoidance, it can cause you to lose trust and respect in your partner’s desire to move forward in life.

If there is infidelity, trust is broken. Every situation is different and whether or not you feel you can live with your partner after trust is broken is individual. Some people can recover from infidelity and get stronger, if there is true willingness from both parties to make things work. It may require counseling to help you understand if the relationship is worth saving.

Ending A Relationship Sign #4

You don’t share the same major values, goals, dreams or aspirations. Let’s say you have a desire to own a house, or have children, or have a meaningful career. These are examples of big goals and dreams that reflect your values in life. If your partner is not in alignment with these larger ambitions and desires, it can cause endless strife. One or both of you end up compromising your key dreams, and this leads to anger and resentment and repetitive fights. We are all different in many ways, and that is not necessarily a problem. The key issue is whether or not your partner supports you in moving toward your major dreams. You can disagree about your favorite car or TV show, but if you are not on the same page when it comes to your life path, this is a reason to re-evaluate staying in the relationship.

Ending A Relationship Sign #5

You don’t want to make time for each other. It’s easy to get caught up in the spin of life. But if you find yourself not wanting to make time for each other – at least sometimes – this is a sign that you are not connecting with each other on a deeper level. If you find yourself not caring about solving problems together, and would rather just act as if you were alone, rather than work it out, this is a sign that the relationship is running on empty. Successful relationships make spending time together a priority, at least some of the time.

Ending A Relationship Sign #6

The Love, Intimacy and Kindness have evaporated. In most couples there are differences in levels of desire for physical intimacy. But if one or both partners have stopped making the effort to connect physically, this is a sign that you may need outside help. If you no longer have empathy for each other, this is a warning sign. Empathy is the ability to put yourself in each other’s shoes, see the other person’s point of view, and care about what they are feeling. If you or your partner no longer care about each other’s true suffering, this is a sign that the relationship has deteriorated. If you are no longer doing simple acts of kindness for each other, the kinds of things you used to do -- making a special meal, doing nice things, saying nice and supportive comments to each other -- this is a sign you have run out of emotional juice.

Ending A Relationship Sign #7

If you can’t see yourselves together for the future. If you can’t visualize yourselves together for a lifetime, this is a clue that you don’t really believe you are with the right person. If you or your partner is not committed to building a future together, then you are just marking time. If either of you are no longer willing to work on the relationship and build it into a new healthier relationship, if you are not willing to face the difficulties of life together, this is a sign you have come to the end of the road.

If just one of the seven signs is present, it is a warning that you need to have some open and honest communication with your partner about getting your relationship back on track. If three or more of the seven major signs are present that might mean the relationship is in trouble, and you need to begin to get honest and real about whether or not you want to stay in the relationship.

It might help to take some time to do this exercise: Take a piece of paper, draw a line down the center and make a list of “Reasons I love my partner” and “Reasons I am not happy in this relationship.” Look at the items side by side. Force yourself to remember what brought the two of you together in the first place, but if one column significantly outweighs the other, you have your answer.

Take your time. Love is precious. Don’t unload a relationship just because you are going through a temporary rough patch.

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