Approaching A Woman
The Top 10 Do's and Don'ts
By Genie Joseph, PhD
Edited By Jon Terrell, M.A.

Many men struggle with confusion and doubt about approaching a woman, particularly an attractive woman they don’t know. Or, if they can get past the "hello" stage, they are uncomfortable about how to converse or move to the next stage. Here is some advice for men on successfully meeting a woman you don’t know. Follow these DO'S & DON'TS and you will be on the road to meeting and captivating women.

Approaching A Woman - Top Ten DON’TS

1.) Don't use those tired old "pick-up" lines or false flattery.

2.) Don't look sloppy, dirty or smell.

3.) Don't make references to sex, her breasts or body parts.

4.) Don't lie or "re-invent" yourself as something you're not.

5.) Don't just talk about yourself.

6.) Don't ignore her feelings or be insensitive to her signals.

7.) Don't interrogate her, don't make her feel like she's on "60 Minutes."

8.) Don't second guess or imagine what she's feeling.

9.) Don't try to be a stand-up comic, especially if you're not funny.

10.) Don't rush!  Don't make her feel like an object, or a trophy for your sex drive.

Approaching A Woman - Top Ten Do’s 

1.) Give her a sincere compliment, something you notice and appreciate about her.

2.) Be neat, clean, well-groomed, pleasant smelling.

3.) Let her see, sense or hear that you recognize what is unique and special about her.

4.) Be honest about who you are, how you feel, and what you think.

5.) Put your focus on her, ask her questions, be curious about who she is.

6.) Pay attention to her feelings, mood, signals. When in doubt, ask her.

7.) Gently explore. Women are like onions with many layers. Peel slowly.

8.) Ask her directly if she feels comfortable, or what would make her more comfortable.

9.) Be yourself. Relax, enjoy her presence.

10.) Women respond at a slower pace. Be sensitive to the steps she needs to take before she can say "Yes" to anything. 

Be Yourself!

It is always good advice for men in approaching a woman, to do it with sincerity and honesty. They can usually tell if you are for real and being transparent and truthful. Be yourself!

All women want to be treated with respect. No woman wants to feel like she's simply fulfilling a temporary (perhaps immediate) need. She wants to know that you are interested in some kind of relationship, something that will endure, even if it is just a friendly, casual relationship.

Women want to feel that power is shared. Don't feel that you have to make all the decisions and choices when approaching a woman. Be prepared to relinquish control. If you are moving to the getting together stage, ask her where she would like to go for lunch, what she would like to do on a date. Let her pick places that she feels safe in. Be sensitive to the other time demands in her life, and let her tell you when would be a good time to get together.

All Women Want To Feel Special

And perhaps, most important of all, every woman wants to feel special! Make a woman feel special, and it will be almost impossible to resist you. Special means that she feels that in your eyes she is a unique and valued person. Special means that you treat her and her feelings with respect. Special means that you value her presence and don’t take her or her time for granted.

If you approach from your heart,and put your focus on her and her feelings, you will be a winner every time. That is our best relationship advice for men about approaching a woman, and it works like a charm!

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